How-To Peace Corps

So you want to immerse yourself in the Peace Corps experience from the comfort of your own home? Cool. 

Step 1: Preparing your House

• Tell your internet, cable, and electricity providers that you're going on vacation for two years. Of course the first two don't really matter since you wouldn't have either of them wthout electricity. Now is probably a good time to clean out the fridge.For good measure, cancel your cell phone plan and get a prepaid feature phone.
• If your stove is electric, well, go buy a camp stove and propane tank from the sporting goods store. Stuff your oven full of rocks or whatever because you won't have enough money to make the original purchase of an oven with your move in allowance. Don't worry, you'll learn how to turn your stove into an oven.
• If you live in a climate where it's always hot or doing this experiment during the summer, time to leave the windows and all the doors forever open. For good measure, remove the screens as well. You'll probably want to purchase a mosquitto net to cover your bed, otherwise, good luck sleeping!
• If you've got a car, give the keys to a friend, public transportation only!
• Now is a good time to read up on how to hand wash laundry. Probably a good time to install a clothes line if you don't have one.
• Also a good time to start learning how to garden.
• Turn your hot water heater off. Boil your water or figure out how to heat it using the sun.

Step 2: Preparing your Food

• No canned foods. You wouldn't want to have to hike those cans out of your community to throw them away since there isn't a trash service in the community. Good time to stock up on dry bags of beans, lentils, rice, and pasta.
• Start expermenting with the validity of the statement "Refrigerate after opening".
• Go and get vegis and fruits, just realize you'll have to cook it or peel it to not get yourself sick. Or risk it, I do! Also, flies and other critters will attempt to eat your food before you get the chance.
• Think before you leave the grocery store, any liquids you're going to have to carry in bags or a backpack back to your house. Better to get powdered milk, Gatorade mix, and Tang packets. Farewell juice, milk, and other similar drinks.

Step 3: Play the Game 

Now comes the fun part of the random things that interrupt your day. Imagine you've got a random number generator (RNG). Each statement will assume a 1 out of Y chances of success with the generator.

• Driving: As you leave your house, check the RNG, you've got a 1 in 20 chance of getting your keys and driving around today. This is because someone is passing through your community and offering you a ride.
• Gas tank: As you go to start your gas stove, check the RNG, you've got a 1 in 360 chance that the tank won't start because it's empty. Now wait a full day until it's refilled. Enjoy nothing but peanut butter sandwiches in the mean time. (Because jelly likes to mold)
• Bugs: Tell your neighbor, for every day you're out of your house, check the RNG, they've got a 1 in 20 chance of leaving either a scorpion, sworm of ants, spider, snake, bat, mouse, or similar critter somewhere.
• River crossings: Assuming you don't have a job, you're leaving your community once every 4 days to go grocery shopping or whatever. During the rainy season, which is half the year, check the RNG, you've got a 1 in 5 chance that the hypothetical river that sits just between your house and public transportation is too dangerous to cross. Return home and start getting creative with just rice and beans.
• Internet and laundry: Today you're going to the internet cafe and to do laundry. Arrive to the internet cafe after traveling an hour and check the RNG, 1 in 10 chances the Wifi is down for whatever reason, continue on to the laundry mat, RNG says 1 in 10 chances there's no water. If you've managed two bad numbers, get on the bus and go home. What a day!

I don't want to get exhaustive and boring with my scenarios so we'll leave it at that. Of course, every day isn't horrible, most days aren't. I enjoy creating my own work, setting my own hours, being treated to lovely food from my host family and community members, consuming mostly very fresh food, learning to live with spiders, getting through the bad days, etc. Peace Corps and the life I'm exposed to here in Panama has so very much to offer and of course everyone would quit if the above list was all Peace Corps had to offer, but it isn't.